How to Own Your No (and Why It's Ok to Say It)
What are your priorities?
Friends, family, rest, relaxation, partying, meeting people, being out and about, children, self care, spirituality, alone time, learning, educating, reading, writing, creating??
Know Your Priorities and Prioritise Them
Every time you say yes to something you are (consciously or subconsciously) saying no to something else.
If you really want to do something you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse.
If you don't want to do something, for whatever reason. Just say no. It's ok to say it. You have your reason. People will get over it, or maybe they won't. But more likely they will.
Your no empowers you, it says
"I choose to put me first and do the thing that I prefer to do".
It can be very difficult to say no and to own your no. No excuses necessary. Just ensure that you are acting with your integrity as you say no to one thing and do your chosen other thing.
Don't Make Excuses
Making excuses makes you seem flaky, indecisive and insecure. If you don't want to do something, just own it.
If you don't want to go shopping after a long day at work, that's ok. Tell the person asking you "I don't want to/feel like it". It is a real reason, if it's real for you it is real.
I don't want to accompany you to that sports match that I don't enjoy, can you ask a friend who will enjoy it to go with you instead?
It's ok to say no and do something that you want to instead. Yes this will seem selfish to others, sometimes. But if it is done as an act of self-care, love and preservation of yourself then it is OK.
BUT, and its a big but!
Do not make poor excuses for why you aren't available or don't want to do it. Don't play the sick card or the tired card or the have something else on card or any other lame-o excuse that you think somehow saves their feelings. It doesn't.
Saying no on some level may (or will) hurt the feelings of others. But feelings pass. Just as you will learn to get over others saying no to you, they will get over you saying no to them.
If you cannot say no you end up always doing everything others want and doing everything to please them, keep them happy AND not being true to yourself.
It's ok, give yourself permission to look after you.
If you don't want to, don't.
Give enough notice.
Offer an alternative if you want to and you cherish the relationship.
Wish you could feel empowered enough to do this for yourself? I can help. Let's work together to determine what's really important to you and get you from where you're at to where you'd like to be.
Need some more ideas for how to teach others to treat you better? Just enter your email in the box below and I'll send this tip sheet straight to you.
Here's to you owning your no and being Happy, Well and Fed (delicious, healthy, inspiring whole foods)